Bridegroom in the Garden | ACW142

I had a very good family growing up – why do I feel so wounded? Are all sexual sins mortal?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Patron Question:
I grew up in a relatively good home. I did lose my mother when I was 9-years-old to ovarian cancer which certainly had an impact on my life. But, otherwise, there weren’t any alarming markers of major dysfunction. That being said, I am so hurt and broken. Much of my pain comes from seemingly small childhood wounds and current wounds within my familial relationships. I used to blame it on my sensitivity; that I was hurt too easily. My question is, is it wrong to think that perhaps my pain and woundedness seems more than it ought to be because even a “relatively good home” is still far from what God intends family to be? I was listening to Dr. Bob Schutes talk about wounds and just became overwhelmed at the amount of pain and brokenness even people from good homes may harbor. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Question 2:
Thank you so much for this podcast and all you do at the Theology of the Body Institute. My question has been troubling my mind and heart for quite some time now. In various Catholic materials I’ve read, for example guides to an examination of conscience, I’ve been told that “every sexual sin” is a mortal sin or at least a grave matter. I can never get a straight answer on whether this statement is theologically accurate. If it’s true, then I fear that each and every sexual union with my spouse, if God calls me to marriage, would be a near occasion of sin instead of an opportunity for grace. I’m worried that if I enter the embrace with even a tiny shred of lust or selfishness I will be committing a mortal sin. Do you have any thoughts or clarifications on the dilemma of mine? If I never get to a state where I am 100% lust free, is it better not to marry at all?

Qestion 3:
In the Theology of the Body Institute Store, there are some beautiful art pieces by Beth West. Is this Beth your daughter? Could we hear from her what inspired her to paint each of these pieces? As a woman in formation, I am particularly interested in “The Bridegroom in the Garden.” The description of the art piece alone contains a whole lecture of Theology of the Body in it. I would love to know how Beth was inspired and what the process of painting it was like for her.

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Resources mentioned this week:

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Bridegroom in the Garden by Beth West

Instagram: @beth_rose_art

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.