Good Eros | ACW152

For some reason, my wife alwasy feels depressed on Sundays. . . any advice? Is masturbation permissible to obtain a semen sample for medical testing? How do I overcome lustful thoughts in marriage?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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My question: For some reason, on Sundays, my wife and I get this depressed feeling, like we should be doing something besides just Mass, and the only option we can think of is to clean the house and get ready for another crazy week with our four kids. Just last Sunday, I remembered what you said about pursuing good eros, so I turned on music I loved, danced with my kids, and seemed to have been lifted from that feeling, but my wife still felt "depressed." I tried to tell her about "good eros" and think of something she loves to do, but she didn't understand it nor could she think of something to do. Our youngest is 7-months-old and takes a lot of her time and energy. My response is usually to take her on a date, which helps, but I feel there should be more she can do for her. What kind of advice can you give to my wife and me who regularly experience this "depressed" feeling, specifically on Sundays. And does the pursuit of good eros play a role here?

Question 2:
Hi Christopher and Wendy!
We're engaged and very soon to be united in the Holy Matrimony. We feel very fortunate to have learned of the great gift of Theology of the Body through your presentations in both Denmark and Brazil. We thank God for your life and your marriage, and pray for more lives to be touched by this truth.
About our question:
Recently we discovered a medical condition that can be a cause of male sterility. To study it properly the doctors asked for a semen test. We know how the sample is obtained for this test. We want to know in this case, if The Church allows this. We would be very happy to welcome children in our marriage, but also, don't want to go against God's plan for our lives and our bodies.

Qestion 3:
I have a question about lustful thoughts within marriage. I am 19 years old and right now I am dating. My boyfriend and I are waiting for marriage in order to be faithful to the Lord, and although this is hard, it isn't as hard as battling lustful thoughts. In this stage of life I push these thoughts away and focus on better things rather than lusting, but I cannot help but wonder, how does this work once you are married? With memories of past sexual encounters and fantasies for the future it seems like this is something that would cross a married couples mind. I always thought that it was okay to think about these kinds of things when you were married, but I want to know for sure. Would this be considered a sin within the context of marriage, or is it okay?

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Resources mentioned this week:

Check out Restore the Glory Podcast and listen to Episode 42 and Episode 43 featuring Christopher West.

Saint Paul VI Institute

The Cantata of Love: A Verse by Verse Reading of the Song of Songs

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.