Struggling in the Marriage Bed, Resenting Other Mothers, and Attraction to Female Saints | ACW324

Questions answered this episode:

1. Hi, Christopher and Wendy, thank you for this podcast and your ministry. It has changed my life. I have a rather delicate question, but I guess I don't know whom else to turn to. I can help you. I've been married for a few years now to my wonderful bride. I have struggled with self-esteem and self-confidence issues since childhood, and that is still the case today. My delicate question concerns the marriage bed and sexual intimacy. In the few years we've been married, my wife has only reached climax 3 or 4 times. This hurts my heart deeply. When I ask what I can do or should do to aid in this, she simply says, I don't know, or it's fine. I don't need the climax. My wife loves me deeply, and the same is true of my love for her, but it bothers me greatly that she won't talk to me about it or that she seems to not care. I feel like less of a man. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
2. My journey to motherhood has been challenging—seven years of infertility due to PCOS leading to surgery, an unexpected C-section, and last October, an ectopic pregnancy. As I tried to cope with the loss of my baby and feelings of helplessness due to emergency surgery and the loss of a damaged fallopian tube, I felt so embraced by our Mother as this loss coincided with the arrival of Advent, a promise of hope. I almost heard my child say, "Why were you looking for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?" I’m truly grateful for the sacraments, as I have personally felt resurrected from this difficult cross through reconciliation and spiritual guidance. Today during Eucharist on the Feast of the Presentation, I felt compelled to actually give my child to God—to present him. Until now, I felt like God had taken him. Though I see the graces the Lord is giving me, even in my suffering, I do continue to struggle with feelings of isolation as I grieve the loss of my baby and my fallopian tube. How can I overcome the tendency to resent other women, and how do I regain the courage to embrace being open to life when, as the Gospel says, a sword has pierced my heart?
3. I'm a 24-year-old man, and I've been discerning a conversion to the Catholic faith for the past two years. I'm currently in the process of getting confirmed, thanks in no small part to your podcast. Thank you for everything you do and the passion with which you do it. Through my journey into Catholicism, one of the most appealing aspects of the Church has been the communion of saints. The friendship of these extraordinary spiritual leaders has been so impactful to me and has been an incredible source of encouragement. As my confirmation approaches and I consider who I'll choose to be my patron, I've realized that almost every saint I've developed a devotion to is a woman. Women like Saint Elizabeth, Mary Magdalene, and Joan of Arc are so insanely powerful, with such varying and glorious expressions of femininity. I find I can't help but be drawn to them. I'm wondering if I have an inordinate attraction to female saints over male saints. Should I get more guy time in my devotions? Is it natural to be drawn to attractive women regardless of centuries-long gaps in time?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.